My mother believed in a nebulous supreme being, but thought the bible was a collection of stories not to be taken literally and was dubious about the divinity of the Christian Jesus. From that background, though, she thought that it would be a good idea to send us to Sunday school so that we could learn about the Christian religion. She picked a fundamentalist church, Cumberland Presbyterian, because it was within walking distance of our house.
That church naturally taught the bible as the literal word of God but I found most of the stories were pretty silly and made fun of them and was generally disruptive in the classes (I was also generally disruptive in regular school as well, so that wasn’t a specific reflection on Christianity). When asked to make up a prayer, I usually responded with something ridiculous, and often giggled and whispered stupid stuff during silent prayers. Prayers were something I never really understood.
My brother and some of my friends would occasionally talk about God and religion and fantasized about heaven and other myths. Taken to the logical conclusions that an eight to ten year old might do, it all seemed pretty stupid.
So when the minister, also the father of a school friend, wandered by one fine day to talk to my mother, he expressed his disappointment in the demeanor of my brother and I and asked about her beliefs. After she related her thinking, he asked her why she sent us to his church and she responded, “I don’t really know.”
After that we never had to go again and by the time I was eleven, I had decided that the whole thing was a crock, the Christian religion was made-up and there was no God. However, I had attended church just long enough to get my religion merit badge and made Eagle Scout, something I wouldn’t be able to do today.
I was pretty open about my lack of belief in God and religion around my friends and in school and was never “in the closet.” Once I had decided, that was it.
Unlike a very few religionists I know, I don’t walk up to people, introduce myself and tell them that I’m an atheist. But I won’t wear a beanie to attend a Jewish ceremony, I won’t engage in group prayer at someone’s house or at a death or marriage ceremony, nor will I ever deny my lack of belief when pressed by anyone. I will swear on the bible though because most Judges and jurors are Christian and because I don’t think that I’m thereby swearing on anything that means anything.
There, at great length, you have it.
